“The Talk” Is Coming

So, over the last couple of months our middle school program has just about doubled in size from the beginning of the year.  It’s something we’re excited about but also challenged by as our number of leaders is pushed to their limit and our standard of excellence suffers a little.  We’re hoping to address all of that in the fall with a whole group of new, talented and excited leaders.  That being said, our group of students is made up primarily of tweens from our community.  Very little church background and very little knowledge or experience with a Christian worldview.  So, what do you do with a group of students that is overwhelmingly pagan and yet interested in spiritual things too?  You have to go back to the beginning, I mean the very beginning.  Starting in Genesis and working through the whole Bible, one story at a time, one thought at a time.  So, here’s my dilemma.  For the last couple of months as our group has shifted and changed into this creature we call Fuel, I’ve been wrestling with the whole concept of teaching about sex, dating and relationships.  Middle school relationships are fleeting at best where a one month relationship is the equivalent of 40 years marriage but young teens are experimenting earlier, developing earlier and doing things earlier than we ever did when I was growing up, so when is the right time to have “the talk”?  If it were just a group of Christian students attending, I would be more willing to wait until later to give parents the opportunity to talk with their kids about it but when so many don’t have that kind of parental support at home, is it appropriate to take on that role and talk about these things with a Christ-centred perspective?  And how much is too much?  How much should we talk about?  I’ve usually waited until the grade 8/9 summer to have conversations with guys about pornography and the way to treat a woman but should I be starting that conversation even earlier?  The way my mind works is I try to come up with some sort of plan ahead of time and then execute that plan and writing this out is actually helping me to process some of my thoughts.  Perhaps it is possible to begin the conversation earlier and as the years go on, have “the talk” again and again as more issues and questions arise.  This is sort of how my mind is putting it together right now:

Grade 6: Puberty…It’s Coming!

Grade 7: Relationships – It’s okay to like the opposite sex without dating them.

Grade 8: The Right Way To Treat The Opposite Sex – Dating, Sex and other words your parents are afraid to use.

I’m sure there’s more to talk about in Grade 6 but I want to be sensitive to those students who don’t think about some of the things grade 7′s and 8′s talk about.  But that’s the challenge.  Is it really too early?  If I think to our grade 6 girls this year, nope, it’s not too early.  Our grade 6 girls are where our grade 8 boys are, another challenge we have to work with.  Not sure how this one will end but I am sure it’s a conversation I will be having much more as our group grows.